Love Wins

Years ago, my wife and I were in a church home group that turned out to be the absolute wrong place for us. In addition to being very judgmental, they turned out to be overtly homophobic. Which, really, should not have surprised us as that seems to be one of the pillars of American Evangelical Christianity today. I think they realized that we didn’t belong in that group when one of the leaders asked, “If one of your friends came up to you and told you they were invited to a gay wedding, what would you tell them?” and my immediate response was “Get ready for a kick-ass, awesome party!” Yeah, nobody laughed (except for my wife). Needless to say, we didn’t go back.

A few months ago, I went to a pride festival in Woodinville, WA as a part of a group called FreeMomHugs.org. It was a really wonderful experience and there are a few things I wanted to share.

If you don’t know about FreeMomHugs.org, you gotta go check them out. They are an organization that is dedicated to providing support, acceptance, and love to the LGBTQ+ community. What I love about them is that they are not primarily a political activist organization. Don’t get me wrong, we absolutely must have people in the political arena fighting for LGBTQ+ rights and against the homophobia that pervades so much of our political landscape, but we also need groups like Free Mom Hugs that are going to the events, the parades, the marches and just says “you are loved, you are accepted. Just as you are. We are proud of you for just being your authentic you.”

Over the previous few months prior to the festival, I personally had become very depressed and discouraged at the state of our country. The vitriol and hate that has become normalized in our society was constant in the news and on social media. And it wasn’t just from the people you would expect, it was everywhere. People always have said that “sex sells”, but lately, it’s been “hate sells”. And it does. It’s been very depressing.

But going to that pride festival changed that for me. You see, at that festival, there were a whole bunch of people who said “This is who I am and I am fabulous!” But what’s more amazing was the people I was there with who said “YES! You are fabulous! And we accept you!”. There was no judgement, no condemnation, no mocking. Just a simple statement of “you are worthy of being loved as you are”. And it restored my soul. While I was there, I had some great conversations with a few of the folks who were attending the festival. I was wearing my “Free Dad Hugs” shirt (since I’m not a mom), and one guy came up to me and I asked him if he wanted a hug and he said yes. After I gave him a hug, he told me his dad hadn’t given him a hug in years. It was a simple thing, but I think it affected me more than it did him. As a father, it broke my heart. As a former pastor, it broke my heart. As a human, it broke my heart. But seeing his smile, seeing the smiles and feeling the joy of everyone there, I realized something very important. Love wins.

So, yeah, there’s a lot of darkness in our country. And much of it is perpetuated by those who are supposed to fight against the darkness and bring the light. But ultimately, the message of groups like FreeMomHugs is that in the end, one thing remains. If you skip to the end of the book, Love Wins.